to be with us

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I have been learning so much about how God wants to be with us in who we are as we are. He will sometimes change our circumstances, but He longs so much more for us to know and believe and trust that He wants to be with us completely in who we are, how we are, as we are. He wants to be with us in our fear, our brokenness, our addictions, our joy, our laughter, our dancing, our singing. He wants to be with us. We are loved as we are, in our anger, frustration, sadness, loneliness, helplessness, etc. And it is God who is strong when we are weak, and this doesn't mean that He makes us feel strong necessarily.

He may not take our struggles away, but what is it we really want? Yes, we want someone to sweep in and get rid of our struggles, insecurities, mistakes, and take care of our problems but even more so don't we want someone to tell us we are loved as we are and to be with us in our weakness? His strength in our weakness means that He does not change. Our worrying, fears, hiding, mistakes, hate...won't cause Him to worry. His love is firm, strong, real...it's staying. He will wait, He will be, He will love because that is who He is.

Like most times when God is really drawing me to Himself in powerful ways I have also been attacked hard at one point. The evil one has been noticing God's work in me lately and has been trying to destroy what God is doing as quickly as he can. I can say that last week I had the worst week I've had since I've been at OMS International. It's hard to face these things while living alone. I have felt very weak and have needed people.

God will help us grow, but He will not fix everything. What we need is not to have all the struggles swept away, but to be able to allow ourselves to rest in Him in our struggles (instead of focusing on them and letting them overwhelm us, which I admit is impossible for me to do sometimes without the help of others). Our struggles (or as 1 Peter puts it, our trials and James, our tests) strengthen and teach us. They prove and strengthen our faith, though the pain is unbearable sometimes.

I can stop seeking Jesus when it gets hard and still have joy without him (and I have done this in my actions). But without him my joy will never be complete, which has been proven to me over and over again.

Moving to Contentment - 3

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What is true blessing? I think many people within the consumerist mindset skew blessing.

I believe it is the gift of not needing to find our identity in looking better or having better things rather than receiving a raise on our job.

I believe it is the freedom from feeling you need more money, food, friends...freedom from fear that Jesus is leading you in a direction that seems “downhill” or on a thinner, less walked, harder road rather than the fact that there was a sale today and you saved a few bucks (when you, like me, might already have a ton more than most of the rest of the population in the world).

I believe it is the freedom to doing the simple, “little” things like knowing, loving, and serving people in their brokenness rather than...I think you get the idea.

Our focus should not be on “the things of the world,” but on confidence and contentment with God and what His kingdom brings.

Paul considered everything (a good name, stable income, respect, being accepted by the culture or religious system...) as loss compared to knowing Christ.

May They Be One - 2

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Jesus' final prayer was that believers would be “one”.

So I ask “How do we as people separate ourselves from each other? Do we help the weak, the struggling...with our being, not just our money/resources? Do we let charity keep us feeling good and at a distance?

Do we live in the pattern of this world (worried about what we have/don't have, who knows us and how, if people like us, if we look good...) or are we transformed by the renewing of our mind (truly seeking first the kingdom of God (rather than our own) and trusting that what we need will be provided (Matthew 6:25-34) – and I don't think what we need necessarily means a nice house, nice clothes, safe neighborhood...what some might call the "American dream"). Who is missing love? Who is missing food? Who is being pushed under the rug by society?

I ask and hear Jesus asking me, "If you're holding on, are you willing to let go?"

Disturbing the Religious Side of Society - 1

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these thoughts have been rolling in my mind for some time. this past sunday they distracted me during the sermon, so i roughly scratched them onto a few pieces of paper...here's the beginning...

I used to write "seeking to be His hands and feet" at the end of e-mails I sent people ("His" referring to Jesus). Now I write "learning to be His hands and feet" because I started to actually think about Jesus' hands and feet, where they walked, what they did, what they were willing to do. I started to think about how he lived and what he said, and how he said it to whoever he said it to. I am learning this because while I have the knowledge, it means nothing if I don't live it...so currently God is beginning to teach me what it means to live it, and it is a hard lesson.

So I asked myself "how did Jesus live? " I came to the conclusion that he befriended the outcasts. He loved and defended people who most in society didn't love or defend (and so i ask "who might that be in my or your neighborhood, town, city..."). He touched the "untouchables".

He spoke truth, the honest truth, which disturbed the society he was raised in, especially the overpowering religious part of the society. This makes me wonder what he would say (or have me or maybe even you say) about or to the religious part of our society today...which I can't write without also saying that I think we need to be careful we don't carry our own agenda with our words.

sidenote: You and I need to express Jesus' message, which he spoke with the help of the Father, not our own. And people need honesty, not hate. And even if you do have things to say, you need to consider that there is a time to speak and a time to listen (James 1:19), a time to do something and a time to wait. We need to seek the Lord in speaking. And in speaking, we need humility. None of us should consider ourselves better than others (Philippians 2:3)...but recognize that we are flawed as well, and God is in love with everyone else as much as He is in any individual.

James says that "religion" acceptable to God is that people would take care of "orphans and widows" and keep themselves from being "polluted" by the world (I believe this has less to do with things like smoking, drinking, swearing – the things some religious circles talk about as evil – and more about how we do things and who we are in doing what we do whether we're having a beer, talking about the day, playing a sport, or at work).

I feel there is more to life than "church". There is being the hands and feet of Jesus...together. There is being the Body, ready to speak truth in love, willing to wash dirty feet (John 13:1, 12-15), and learning to let go of our lives in order to truly live.

James says that every good and perfect gift is from above, but how do we know what is "good and perfect"?

I feel like it's easy to make what we want to do seem as though it is "good and perfect" for us, but perhaps God sees things differently. We need to listen to His voice with open and willing hearts.

Why So Hostile?

Today a man pointed his finger firmly into the air and told me that "Jesus was the best carpenter ever, so when you work you should do it for him, and it should be your best." Looking into his eyes, no matter how much I searched I did not see kindness or love. He was trying to intimidate me/guilt me into painting his house the best I could, and he did not know me. I listened and tried to communicate that he could trust us with his house.

While I painted I kept thinking about how he treated us. I asked myself, who's to say Jesus was the best carpenter ever? Who cares if he was or not. What matters is that he was loving in all he did. He treated people with kindness and respected people, even the fishermen, drunkards, prostitutes, lepers, tax collectors...and I'm sure he would treat painters the same today. Unfortunately this man did not have the gospel right, focusing more on doing a "good job" in life than on loving as Christ loved.

The apostle Paul once wrote, "If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am only a sounding gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing."

This man reminded me of how much the gospel has been and can be twisted in the mind of those who have met Jesus, but have not followed him, who have forgotten what he taught.

Jesus said to "Love the Lord your God with all of your heart," and "love your neighbor as yourself," not "do the best you can at your job."

Mother Teresa, a woman who sought after Jesus so much throughout her life, used to say, "We can do no great things, just small things with great love. It is not how much you do, but how much love you put into doing it."

A Final Prayer

The final prayer of Jesus was that the believer's would be one (John 17). I have been pondering this lately, kind of been challenged by it.

The idea of oneness is something that people talk about, but don't exhibit, including myself, because we struggle with discomfort. To be one we must be willing to step out of our comfort zone.

To understand that you are loved by God, you must also understand that everyone else is also. We are all different.

The initial idea of following this concept of oneness begins with dressing ourselves with new eyes.

I was recently at something called P.A.P.A. Fest (People Against Poverty and Apathy). There were many people talking about issues with not connecting with the poor, issues with people who hide themselves in suburbs and leave the poor to themselves, etc. Some people focused on living with less, protecting the environment (God's creation), learning to live a life in rhythm with God instead of the world, etc.

While some people were in "intentional communities" with the poor and others desiring to alleviate the injustice done to the poor, they seem to cut themselves off from those who live in suburbs and serve Christ in other ways. This happens in the vice versa as well. Not all people do this, but some split things.

I was riding my bike through suburbs and thought to myself "I would never want to live in a house like that with a yard and stuff." It felt uncomfortable now that I had been accustomed to living with less. Vice versa, many people in those houses would say that same thing to perhaps those who live with less. The thing is that this un-comfort keeps us from meeting each other and getting to know each other, though we may be brothers and sisters in Christ. There is a separation.

We must learn to accept each other, to recognize that we all grow up in different places, are in different walks of life with God, are all called to help different kinds of poverty in this world we live in.

It only becomes a problem when we isolate ourselves, when we keep ourselves from being one in Jesus Christ. We must be willing to step out and meet our neighbors to understand the way they live, to reach out to people without assumptions (not including times where there is real reason to have assumptions to protect ourselves...unfortunately we have to do that). We must meet people with innocence and a clean plate for where to place our understanding of them other than where they live, how much they live with, the way they dress, or the color of their skin.

I struggle with all of these pieces of people. It can keep me from engaging people with love instead of fear. Let us seek out what it means to be one.

There are so many more thoughts I have been having about this, but I can't remember them now. I hope that these thoughts encourage you in some way and get you thinking.

Challenge yourself to meet people you might feel uncomfortable getting to know whether it is in your neighborhood or at work.